I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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