Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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