Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize