perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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