i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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