And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize