I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
this will be a night to untag.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
