8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
