shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
