butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
