i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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