If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
