quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
