I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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