had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i out mim tonsoeep
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
