she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
jump out the window naked night went bad
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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