Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize