Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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