am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
