I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
