She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
