my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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