I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
