I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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