on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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