Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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