Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
