I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
