WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
