we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
