its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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