a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
