Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
