I think i peed on brittanys purse
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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