She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize