I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
