do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
What drink are we having for lunch?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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