Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
