Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
