New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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