So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
