Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
