the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
