She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
