He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
