there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize