There was a lot of him and a little penis
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Pants are for mortals
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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