Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
