He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
