If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
