I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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