do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
