im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
