you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
They have beer where we have blood.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize