Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
