I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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