Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
