i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
