you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize