if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
