I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
