Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
