It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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