in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
