Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
bring money and cleavage
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
