theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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