I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize