I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Who died my cat blue again?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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